Sickened
by Just Lil Ole Me
Summary: What went through Jake's head after her left Bella's wedding? Just how messed up was he? ONE SHOT, AU, Rate M for mature scenarios...all implied but still. CHARACTER DEATH WARNING!


**A/N: **I've been pushing myself to write in different genres. This is easily the darkest piece that I've written to date...so yeah.

SM owns all things Twilight. I just borrow her characters from time to time.

* * *

**Sickened**

Shortly after dinner, a knock sounded at the door and I wheeled over to find Sam Uley standing patiently at my door. I welcomed him into my home, not unlike any other time he had come to call. Sam walked into my living room, his face tense.

"Has he come out of that garage yet?"

Shaking my head, I turned my wheelchair to face him. "No, not really. I know he's been in the house because I find his dirty dishes in the sink or his t-shirt in the bathroom but he hasn't spoken to me since he came back from that wedding."

Sam ran a hand over his neck, closing his eyes. "I thought he would have moved on given that he actually managed to show up." He sat down on our couch with a defeated look. "I knew he loved her but this goes far beyond any type of love I've ever known." He looked up at me. "What do you think, Billy?"

Sighing, I propped my elbows on the arm pieces of my seat, clasping my hands in front of me. "Well, I've always known that my boy was head over heels for Bella. That much is no surprise. However, he had his hopes up so high when she came out of that comatose state with his help. He was convinced that she was his, but then, that Cullen boy had to come back, ruining his chances for good." My eyes flooded with concern. "When we received that wedding invitation, I knew that we had all lost her for good, but that day, something snapped in Jake. He's changed."

Sam leaned forward, looking at his work worn hands. "Do you think asking him to step up as Alpha would give him something to focus on rather than _her_. She's made her decision. We all need to accept it." Sam's voice was heavy with the burden of the Pack weighing on his shoulders for too long.

I inhaled deeply, giving his idea some consideration. "It couldn't hurt to try. All he's doing now is wallowing in his pain." I ran my hand over my face. "Give it a go. You have my blessing."

Sam nodded in his curt fashion as he stood. "Can't hurt to try…" He walked out the door with a determined look.

* * *

Music blared out of the _Taj_, making me wary in my approach. This was not the happy-go-lucky music that he had played so often before he phased or even after we rescued Bella. No, this music was hard, deep…and dark. I stepped through the front doors to find the garage pitch black. The only sign that someone was inside was the music itself.

"Jake?"

A menacing growl came from the furthest back corner, halting me in my tracks. I was no fool to enter where I was not wanted. Squaring my shoulders, I put my hands on my hips. "Hey, I thought you might want to talk about…maybe stepping up as Alpha." I hesitated until the growling stopped. "We had always talked about you taking over after that newborn battle. What do you say?" I tried to keep my tone light. I heard the shuffling of feet and could feel, but not see, movement in the depths of the darkness.

"Come off of it, Uley. I know what you are really trying to do." He muttered. His voice sounded off. "Throw the dog a bone to distract it. Well, I have two words for you."

Hearing more movement in the darkness, an odd scent hit my nose. That's not pot. A flicker of flame lit his face and arm briefly. _Holy shit…. _

"Come on, Jake. Why don't you just come talk to me outside?" I had to do something. My pack brother was spiraling into a very dark place as I stood helpless. I heard another strange nose…a snap…and then a hiss escaped from his lips.

"Two words, Uley….Fuck. You." His words were slurred. "Now get the hell out." A knife hit the wood door beside my head, sticking soundly.

Knowing that I would get nowhere with him in this state, I backed away, shutting the door behind me. It was time to consider another approach to Jake. I just hoped we could reach him in time.

* * *

"I don't want to open that door….you do it." I looked at Quil nervously, shaking my head. Neither of us had ever seen Jake like this…ever.

Quil's face turned serious, something that is rare for him, but when it came to his closest friends, he would move heaven and earth for them. Slowly, he opened the side door. The first thing we noted was the smell.

"What the hell?!" I pushed past Quil. He couldn't move any further due to having a more sensitive sense of smell than me. He stopped at the doorway, his nose scrunched up. I stepped into the darkness of the garage to find Jake laying prone on the back seat of the Rabbit.

"Yo Jake, what are you doing?"

He shifted in the back seat. Glass bottles clinked as he sat up. "That bitch married that dead fucker…she don' love me no more." His head bobbed. His movements were erratic and unsteady.

I approached the car to see the floor wells filled with mason jars. Res shine…. "Are you drunk? Seriously?" We were all aware of just how much of that shine we had to drink to get a buzz. To get completely drunk required vast amounts.

Jake pushed himself all the way up so that we could see his face. He wasn't slightly inebriated but there was something else going on here. His hair was a mess. He looked like he'd worn the same cut offs since the wedding.

"How much did you drink anyways?"

"Hell if I know….stupid bitch." He moved his arms to pull himself out of back seat, allowing us a good view of his arms….bruised and dotted.

I shot a quick look at Quil as Jake maneuvered himself out of the car. Track marks…._Oh god._

"Hey, we're setting up a bonfire tonight. Why don't you come hang out with us?" I offered him lifeline. We had to get him out of this hole that he was digging.

Finally free of the Rabbit, he leaned against the car. His eyes were slits as he attempted to focus on us. "Why would I wanna do that?" His body swayed.

Quil piped up. "We've all missed you, Jake. It's time to come back to us."

The words were no more out of Quil's mouth when Jake's head snapped in his direction. "You think I can just …POOF!...forget her? You think it's that damn easy?" He screamed and waved his hands around like some drunk magician. "I'm not goin' nowhere." He slid down the side of the car to sit on the floor. His hand reached inside the car door to pull out a clear bag holding a powdery substance.

_What is that?_ I sniffed. _Coke_. I watched him carefully. "Are you sure you want to…?" My eyes darted to the bag in his hand.

His eyes flashed up to mine, his irises tinged in yellow. His wolf was dangerously close, who knew what would happen if he phased while jacked up on all of those drugs. "How do you know what the fuck I want to do, Call?" He growled menacingly, standing with the drugs in one hand, the other clenched ready for a fight. "Get. Out."

Quil and I backed out of the door. Our worries now tripled. This person was no longer the friend we knew. Our best friend was lost in a sea of despair and pain.

A movement on the back porch caught our attention as we walked out of the garage. Billy sat there, looking to us for some hope. Our faces held his answer. The great chief's shoulders slumped in resignation. We had to do something fast.

* * *

A knock sounded at the side door. Seth stood, unaware of the previous attempts of his pack brothers, waiting for Jake to let him enter. All he knew was he missed Jake.

"Jake? Can I come in?" He opened the door, poking his head in with a grin. Everyone knew that Seth was all innocence and sunshine all the time, very little brought him down. When he didn't hear any sort of answer, he walked in, closing the door behind him.

The smell of the garage was off. Unaware of the true reason behind the scent, Seth wrinkled up his nose and walked over to one of the windows, propping it open. He flipped on the Ipod sitting on the tool bench. The heavy metal music playing left him puzzled and confused. He heard a soft snuffling noise from the back. Walking around to the backside of the Rabbit, he found Jake passed out face down on the floor which was littered with all sorts of pills and pipes.

"Um…Jake, you ok?" He kneeled down beside him, laying his hand on his friend's shoulder. He had always looked up to Jake like he was some sort of wolf god. In Seth's eyes, Jake could do no wrong.

"Huh? Wha?..." Jake raised his head, turning to look up at Seth. "What's up, pup?" He pushed himself slowly to a sitting position.

"Well, I hadn't seen you out lately and I was worried." He glanced over at Jake. "You wanna talk?"

Then the unexpected happened. "Sure sure, kid. What do you wanna talk about?" Jake pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes as he tried to think coherently.

"Nothing special, I was hoping you were working on the car today. Maybe I could help?" He smiled.

Jake shook his head. "Nah, I'm not feeling it today, maybe later this week." Then, he turned in the direction of the house. They could hear the ringing of his dad's cell phone. It was Charlie.

Billy answered. "She's back? Well, how is she? I know you said that she picked up some sort of virus while overseas. Is she out of the hospital?"

That was all the impetus that Jake needed. He leaped to his feet, grabbing his t-shirt from the side table. He picked up the keys to his bike and made for the door.

"Where you going, Jake?" Seth asked, unsure of what was happening but happy to know that Bella was back. Maybe this would mean a return of the old Jake.

"I…um…gotta run an errand. I finally figured out how to take care of a problem that I have." His eyes searched over the side table again. "Why don't you listen to number 13 on the metal track on my Ipod? It's my favorite right now." With a ghost of a smile, he hopped on his bike. "Talk to you later, pup." Starting his engine, he took off.

"Later." Seth smiled and didn't think anything about the requested track on the Ipod. Instead, he walked over to the small engine that Jake had been showing him how to build over on the other side of the garage. After tinkering with it for about a half hour, he remembered to change the music. The chorus brought him to his knees.

_Sickened from wanting you  
Frightened of finding the truth  
Don't say anymore  
Now my mind isn't changing  
This reckoning's long overdue. _

His mind raced at the meaning of the lyrics. His breathing sped up. _Has he gone after Bella? He wouldn't, would he?_

Out of nowhere came a piercing howl, laced with pain and heartbreak. Sam was calling the pack. Seth raced out the side door of the garage, hoping that his hunch was wrong. As they phased in one by one, they were all hit by the mental pictures running through Sam's head. A grim picture of carnage and fur strewn all over the ground in the Cullen's front yard was burned into their mind. Whimpering, they all reached out for their brother through their mind link, but he wasn't there anymore. A chorus of howls filled the night.

Jake was gone for good.

* * *

**A/N: **The song lyrics are from Disturbed's "Sickness". My muse has not let go of these particular lyrics since I first listened closely. Maybe now, I'll get to move on to another...happier...fic. ;)


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